Sunday, September 27, 2009

Three Tits Are Better Than Two?

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Well, of course if you were born with three tits you'd choose porn as your career. What else can she do? Type with the extra breast? Go scuba diving? Screw an armchair? I'd like to see that. I don't know how many practical uses, or sensical uses for having three boobs would be except for porn I guess.

You could rest your beer on one of the breasts as you feel up the other two, that might be pretty useful. Eitherway, it's probably too much tits. But if you're a guy you would say that you can never get enough of tits. Believe me, you can. After awhile it becomes enough. Try bringing home some strange Taiwanese girl obsessed with having her nipples sucked, and having to suck them the entire night, and morning. I'm sure you'd have your fill of breasts, ya know for awhile.

Useless Conversation

So what do you do?
I wrote a play.
What's it called?
"De-facto Love"
Did you really write a play?
No.

So what do you do?
I'm a professional drunk.
....
Are you a reporter? Who cares.

So what's your name?
Jesus..Jesus Christ. Bond..James Bond.
....

Isn't life grand?
No, I retired from life.
So what do you do?
Sleep. Leave me alone.

What have you done?
A lot of things, but no one cared.
Do you have hope?
No, and it's great.

What do you want to do with your life?
My life is forfeit.

Do you have hope for a better world?
I have no hope. The next few years will be pretty bad for the world.
So you're a defeatist then?
Only with you.

What do you think is the meaning of life?
It was an accident.
So you're an asshole then?
....

I love 'Demon Baby'



If you're watching this you may be thinking if I made it, no, I didn't. But I wish I had. It's pretty genius. I filmed a squirrel the other day though..eating a mouse's brain.

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Low Side Of Life

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Advertising! Advertising!

Last night I was with three youngsters at the back of Little Caesars Pizza waiting patiently for the manager to throw out the remaining of the left-over pizza and whatever bits of food they have at the end of the night into the nearby dumpster. Great, now's your chance I say, as one of the three young people, I think his name was Jessy, as this guy heads to the dumpster to mull through the trash, and grab the plastic bag with the left over pizza and stuff in it. I watched him eat it, after he presented what was in the bag to me, and I guess he's scored pretty good for himself tonight. Hail Caesar! The other two were kind of suspicious of pizza, and other goodies that's just been disposed of, but hey, it was somewhat sealed. And dumpster food, is there anything better? Well shit, he told me it kept him alive back when he used to live on the street.

I heard that Safeway throws out whole turkeys, entire turkeys after holidays. They seal them exceptionally well too. I'm sure they have an entire fanbase of dumpster divers waiting eagerly to get their crummy hands on them. I wish it was just as easy to find a quality women in a dumpster as it is to find quality food. And by societies standards, it's Quality you throw out. What the hell? How fucking wasteful of American society. It's an empire ready and set forth to be flushed down the toilet. There's food you can't get back.
And would you want it?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Freudian Slip Ups



These are pretty amazing. I find it very arousing just hearing dirty words mixed in with the reporters content. It's like their career will be over, and they can't do anything to repair it. If they haven't fucked their boss already, they'd probably have to now or they're just going to be laughing their way into unemployment.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Pac-Man Eats America

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Something is seriously wrong with this country. Economic meltdown, no fast resolve, president Obama is a complete liar, and he hasn't ended the war in Afghanistan, and America is in debt up to their eyeballs, again, no safe and fast resolve for any of these problems, and now mandatory vaccination over a swine flu, or whichever is the most popular flu this year.

What the fuck?

Quarantine and contain, quarantine and contain.

Sure, living in American would be really scary right now. Mainly because of the forced vaccinations, which is very likely to occur soon.
Let's not focus on your country trying to poison you right now, but the vaccine isn't going to help you, so don't fall for it. What is important to know is that America is fucking doomed, you know it is. Why do you think Obama is looking Globally, and at Global interests? In the meantime, you'll hear squealing, like, please save us Mexico and Canada! Let us push our problems onto you, and fuck up your lives as well. It's like that idiot-friend-loser you never want over, because they drink all of your beer, and eat all your snacks and frozen dinners. Get the fuck out of my house! Go bother some other country please. Canada, where I live is seriously fucking whipped. Our prime minister Stephen Harper is a piece of shit sellout. He sold us out to the United States back when Bush was in office, supporting his stupid war and our continuing support of it. Cocksucker. Our liberty shares the same fate as America, we've aloud their military and police to come in through our border, and help keep our public safe for our upcoming Olympics in the city of Vancouver -- retarded. And apparently the US military forces are already here anyway, great. Keep your fucking flues away from us though. Our police here are very unfriendly, and I could see them forcing us too to take vaccinations too.

Is it a conspiracy how this vaccine is bad for you? And to a larger extent fatal? A lot of people are aware of this now. I know it would fucking kill you, why wouldn't it? It's a great idea to weaponize a vaccine and use it on the public. It's sad, it's sick, it's fucked up, and the very first vaccine we get as a child harms us throughout our lives because it has mercury in it. Let's shoot up a nice healthy child with mercury, fuck you! More people are conscious now to the fact that vaccines harm us more than do any good.

Again, let's forget about how America is trying to murder it's citizans. The entire country is in turmoil, they're fucked. If a giant Pac-Man came and ate them it would be their saving grace. Hope for that. "Yes we can" MUNCH! Now you can't fucks.

Not to sound like a negative asshole, I think I'm making light out of this incredibly bad situation. Or I'm mocking it, that's okay too.

Friday, September 11, 2009

You're Dead...Get Over It

So I was trying to look up pictures of dead people online, and it's a lot harder than it used to be. I ran across this guy's post, "Are Dead People Really Dead?" No they're alive, idiot. When the body's dead, the body's fucking dead, no arguing that. Yeah, the energy lives on, I believe, you know. Whatever hasn't been sucked right out of us from TV and other little brainsucking instruments providing spiritual distortion. Uggh, yeah I fucking hate the media and everything, what's new hey.

I couldn't actually find a good picture of a dead person who wasn't shrivled and made into a sculpture yet. But I did find this African business man lying in the sand that looks like he's dead. But why the fuck should I post that? There's a watermark on it anyway, fuck.

I had this great idea of posting this guy with his head all blown off and shit, oh well.

Internet Junk

Whenever I find some little Google image gem, I will more then likely post it under the name "Internet Junk" because we know it's shit, but it's always amusing crap. Much like the entirety of the Internet.

Here's our first lovely find.

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The origins of why Batman road an elephant are unknown. And also what he did afterwards with the elephant were never fully disclosed. Though Batman, also known as the actor Adam West was accused of being an alephant fucker. In one of Adam West's darkest secrets among his many scandals. Did Adam West really fuck an elephant? The accusations he had never forced him to go to trial, because he paid off the right people. Or shall we say, he kneeled down to the right people. To judges, reporters, and probably Robin too. Holy rail Batman!

My next bit of Ijunk is actually a really good photo of The Bat.

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Is Michael Keaton gay? Sure we loved him in Beetlejuice, but is he actually gay? Do we care? Isn't everyone in Hollywood gay? Don't they all eventually fuck eachother? And fuck the same holes, or be fucked in familiar holes? Why am I stating it as a question? Of course they do. They're disgusting. I think Michael Keaton was still the best Batman, even though Val Kilmer kind of gives me a hard on. Does that make me gay now? I'm not a Celebrity, so it doesn't matter.

I guess this ends this first part of Internet Junk. Tune in next time..uhhh...same blog address, same blog, ehh, whatever.

9/11 Truth



Since it's September 11th, I am making this my very first post. I don't necessarily like Charlie Sheen, Hot Shots Part Deux, and all that, but his demands for 9/11 truth are important. And his phony conversation to president Obama, your president, if you're American, is very important to the future of America, which pretty much has fallen into the hands of Lucifer these past years. I commend his effort to demand a new investigation for 9/11. Like he said, the people's families of who died in that event deserve it, and they constantly ask for the real story of what exactly happened, not a work of fiction that the media and the government has provided.