Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Star Trek Edits



This is pretty demented, but almost the least demented of most of these Next Generation edits. I wish someone would edit old Trek with Captain Kirk having sex with that reptilian alien guy. They could use footage of that green chick he makes out with. I'd watch it.

Gee, well, I should have posted this on my blog a long time ago. I guess I was too busy laughing, and dreaming about Data, and fucking him. My android lust. What color is is cum? Green? Ehg, that's like the girl in the Exorcist's vomit. Uh, it's probably white, just kind of more synthetic looking maybe.

Date Rapists (Anonymous)

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They're assholes right?

That's not nice, drugging the sweet girl, not so sweet after. I'm reminded of the scene in Twin Peeks: Fire Walk With Me when Sarah Palmer's in a brothel with her friend, and her friend gets her drink spiked, and then she's somewhat raped. Well, maybe not so raped, she's kind of into it, they both are. The room's all sexed, and smeared with it. Raunchy. Then Sarah goes mental with her tits hanging out. End scene.

Uh, in real life it's not so, I don't know, safe. Because they get away. Even though Sarah Palmer's raped by her father..for many years. I was almost raped by an African guy in the park once, he had his hands down my pants, and he was fingering my ass. I'm like, how did I get into this situation? Oh yeah, I'm incredibly drunk, and making out with an African dude. But Why? I thought, doesn't Aids come from where you guys are? I was kind of reconcidering this. I don't even know how the hell I got into a park. I think I blacked out and woke up there. He then suddenly whipped out his cock, to show it to me, and he made me touch it. I thought it was kind of funny, then he got a bit aggressive so I shoved him down, and then this security guard came and asked what was going on. I said, "uh, we're just talking here. We're leaving, or I'm leaving. Fuck off black guy!" My friends were worried about me that night. Yeah, I've heard stories from girls about getting roofied, but I could never tell if I was or not, because I pretty much just black out when I drink too much anyway. I guess I could be laying on my stomach somewhere with my naked ass in the air..in a park. And I guess I wouldn't know that until later.

"Nice naked guy, can I fuck him? How much?"

Sssshit, I hope my friends don't sell my body when I'm passed out. "Hey, uh, were you my pimp last night?" Fuck. Uhmm, yeah, girls getting raped is kind of bad, gay guys getting raped is kind of bad too, except sometimes they like it. I think it sucks just not remembering sex at all.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Anal Beads

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When you're done with them..rinse them off.

Anal Beads -- I never really understood the point of them. I ignore them when I'm in the Porn Store, but could they have potential? Could they have value? Is it all for the sensation of shitting when you pull them out? Maybe I should read the back. I'm staring at a package of them as I'm writing this. It says here, "fun for the whole family!" Okay, it doesn't say that, but it's still kind of vague about their purpose. How many balls, or beads I should say can I stick in my ass? How many will fit inside? I'd imagine there's a world record for that, no? After four it might feel a bit packed. I should do an experiment, but I don't feel like using their bathroom to do it in. One time when I was younger I shoved a candle up my butthole while I was jerking off, and it broke in my ass. That was before I owned a dildo mind you.

I saw a video of a girl squeezing a cell phone out of her asshole, and I thought they should have at least called her phone, and if it was set on vibrate she could have full on masturbated while she was getting rectal stimulation. But if it had an annoying ring tone that kept repeating I'd understand why she'd shit it out.

So besides anuses (going off topic a bit here if I can) I'm glad that when you type in "penis" into Google search there's a likelihood that you'll find my blog. According to this girl from the Dominican Republic who did that. She was awfully charmed by my blog, and she wrote to me, and we are now in an online relationship. And when girls ask me out on dates now I tell them, "uh, no I'm in this serious relationship with this girl online right now. Yeah, sorry!" Nah, I'm lying, I think online relationships are stupid. However, she did say that she would fuck me, but I seriously hate traveling. I don't even know where the Dominican Republic is. The other day I called it, "the Banana Republic" so you see I'm pretty fucking clueless with geography. Seeming how I mix countries up with clothing stores. Is the Banana Republic like the Gap? Fuck, I don't even know that either, but I probably wouldn't shop there.