Octopus Sex

 "It doesn't get more testosterone-serious than this!"

The Whore Of Babylon

So, I was masturbating and I was thinking, man this is disgusting what I'm looking at, or man she's such a whore. But really she was just portraying a whore, like most of it is an illusion, it's an act. Sure, there's a dick in her and some guy later cums in her face, but most of it is total and utter bullshit, I'm sure she likes to be treated good, don't most girls? Yeah, it's just for money, yeah, but come on, it's tiresome, and really, like, disgusting, but maybe that's what's charming about it, I don't know.

Yeah, porn -- really-really charming, yeah, sure. Yeah.

Masturbation is kind of addictive, I try to avoid it sometimes, I take breaks. Whore's get fucked constantly, and play with themselves all the time I guess. Or just get fucked. I don't have any adoration for whores. Love actually turns me on most, gives me a hard on, hard on for love. That's me. None of this greasey shit, this spectacle of testical, why did I ryhme that? Testicals, yeah. Ball-mashing, is that any fun? It actually gets pretty sore.

What is this thing? -- Sex. God, I wish I didn't need it. It's a real disturbance being horny and having no one to have sex with. And going out and finding it is a pain. I'm already horny now, it can't really wait, like, sorry honey but I want my dick in your mouth before dinner. Fuck dinner, well fuck my dick I mean.

So the Whore of Babylon, what's she all about? She's the Harlot who rides the beast of Revelations, if the bible holds any water to you then that means you give a shit. Lady GaGa had her on her mind with her style of course, which is...I guess, not very surprising. "I'm a whore, check it out! I'm the Whore of Babylon." Babylon just means wicked city, or confusion. We're in global Babylon now. So a girl being a whore or a slut, big fucking deal right? Pornstars are paid prostitutes, oldest profession in the world. But is it a respectful one? Maybe in their community it is, it's a wicked world after all. People get praised for their immoral deeds. What's moral in our world when everything is backwards, and when we're being demoralized by society and Television, Eh? No answer? Cheating is a popular topic for T.V. shows and in movies, man do I ever hate that. It's not cool, but a girl who falls for another guy is also not cool. If every girl will fall for somebody else, what is the fucking point of the man? Are we just Appetizers? Snacks? For the time being. Why even bother at all with someone who finds interest in everyone else? I'm not saying a totally possessive relationship, or person is better, I just mean, have some decency, don't lead men on (girls) if you are going to find someone else. The thing is, the response would be from a girl I mean, "how am I suppose to know? It just happens." Well, tell them to eat shit, be loyal to your lover. And you're just going to find somebody else again, so stop being such a parasite. Moving from host to host, bah. That's how diseases are spread, but you are the disease really.

Yeah, I'm bitter, why shouldn't I be? People are lousy. And maybe whores are more fun, they're painfully transparant. We fuck, then we stop, then okay, bye, then she fucks somebody else. Ugh, ew. Nevermind.

"And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:
And upon her forehead was a name written a mystery: BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH."

Did I just quote the bible? Oh my god -- literally.

Relationblips

Hello, hello whoever is reading this. I love you (said softly). Whatever happened to a relationship that worked out? I don't know. Mine lasted a year, and guess what? She gave up, not me. I tried pleading, and all of that, but to no avail. Our relationship became toxic, that's what she said - that's what she said. Anyway, uh, hm, I never got to see her very much, I feel a bit cheated out of a whole and complete relationship. We were more like fuck buddies who loved each other. The sex was good, but I was good, so sex can be good always if I am. All the girl has to do to be good at sex is suck dick good. What else do they do? Move their pelvic muscles in sync properly? Turn on occasion? Do they talk dirty? None that I have fucked. I'm good in bed because of stamina and doing what makes them orgasm, what makes it happen. My orgasms suck in comparison, I'm jealous, always, always jealous of theirs. What the fuck is the point of me cumming? I sometimes think to myself, if it won't be that great anyway. The payoff for me isn't that fantastic. Masturbating is a bit dead to me, but I have to do it occasionally. I have this bummed out feeling when I think, that's it? That's all? Shows over? That's the feeling? Pathetic. When I'm happy I think when I cum it feels a lot better. When I'm horny, I love to stuff a girl, for awhile. Apparently my dick hurts girls when I deep-dick them. Which is merely me putting my dick all the way in. Sorry, vaginal wall. I was looking at the silhouette of my dick, my cock, I like saying cock better, and it looked awesome. The silhouette of my cock, and it going into a vagina. Some weird angle, and interesting lighting. Nice. Kind of an art-thing, or just a whatever thing, but I was admiring it.

So something interesting happened, disregarding my year long relationship, because it was almost insignificant, because she was always busy and would come to my place and use my shower and sleep in my bed and then we'd argue about something. AWESOME. What happened to me was I fell for someone else, in the time she wanted space. Literally just a week. I called up my old friend, that I hadn't talked to in like a year and a half. Let's watch a movie, or something, hangout, and do my tarot reading. Which I totally appreciated. Anyway, long story short, we had a lot of sex and it was really fun. She showed me she cared quite a lot, and she was very comforting and nurturing, something that I haven't felt in a long time. My ex -- forget it. Her ability to show emotion and care for me was very weak, and needed so much work, and the fact that I had to tell her things was a sign right there not to bother. I couldn't fuck the emotions into her, so..yeah.

If you ever request rim-jobs, for your asshole to be licked by your girlfriend, and if she doesn't seem to want to, then she'll probably break up with you. That's what happened to me. Words of wisdom, words to live by. Whatever.

Sex And Relationships

So not too many women know this, but men don't always orgasm during sex. According to some random sex-pert, and observing my own penis behavior, men generally feel good whenever they ejaculate. However it doesn't entail that there was an O factor, just that it's nice whenever semen is released from our penises.

Yeah, well, if the guy ever had an orgasm he'd know the difference, but if he hasn't then he would be clueless. I know what it's like, and frankly my dear, sometimes I rather masturbate after sex, because it feels so much better the way I do it myself. Which makes sex a bit of a let down.

Sex is great though, sex is like visiting a fun factory, but I hardly am impressed by the end result. When, or if the girl reaches her climax, and is flailing, and moaning loud, (and owe, my ears) well I'm glad you enjoy it honey, good for you. I'm just going to go, uh, you know, do my thing, or you can suck my dick, because that usually feels better. Yeah, blow-jobs, I've had some good orgasms with those.

I love getting my balls licked, it's the best, it's my thing I like. I just shaved my dick today, and my balls are smooth as a baby's butt, or they're exactly like it's balls. Right on. But, yeah, obviously they've dropped.

Uhm, so a relationship, what is that? Like is it ten percent -- after the sex? Yeah, ten or fifteen, if it's any more then the sex will suffer, and who the fuck needs that? The worst relationships are when you're winding down, and becoming too comfortable with each other. That's when it's time you need to buy matching hats, and t-shirts with your favorite Television shows on them, and forget about your sex life all together. Pathetic.

Speaking of losing interest, I don't know if all men feel this way, but if they make a girl cum, then they're pretty much done with her. "Alright, moving along." Also, if they can't cum, then there's more of a reason to continue the relationship. At least there's a goal in mind, because if it's getting married, then you should get your priorities together. Unless you're into marriage, but the sex and passion will definitely wind down, so there's really no point. But if you need constant companionship then you should learn to be more secure with yourself.

My penis is looking really nice right now, I think I should take it out on the town.

Three Tits Are Better Than Two?

Well, of course if you were born with three tits you'd choose porn as your career. What else can she do? Type with the extra breast? Go scuba diving? Screw an armchair? I'd like to see that. I don't know how many practical uses, or sensical uses for having three boobs would be except for porn I guess.

You could rest your beer on one of the breasts as you feel up the other two, that might be pretty useful. Eitherway, it's probably too much tits. But if you're a guy you would say that you can never get enough of tits. Believe me, you can. After awhile it becomes enough. Try bringing home some strange Taiwanese girl obsessed with having her nipples sucked, and having to suck them the entire night, and morning. I'm sure you'd have your fill of breasts, ya know for awhile.

Freudian Slip Ups

These are pretty amazing. I find it very arousing just hearing dirty words mixed in with the reporters content. It's like their career will be over, and they can't do anything to repair it. If they haven't fucked their boss already, they'd probably have to now or they're just going to be laughing their way into unemployment.