Saturday, February 19, 2011

Shoplifting

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I shop lift, got a problem with that? Fuck you, it's great. You see what I do is, I lift things will I buy a bunch of cheap stuff, it works every time, and no one is the least suspecting. Sure people I know go into a store with a bag and fill it with things then leave, I get a bit nervous doing that. The art of stealing things is to be completely calm and relaxed. I don't use disguises, even though I know a person who does, I just remain polite, and charming as I rip you off.

I walked out of a store wearing a hat I grabbed from there the other day, I got stopped. But, they just took the hat back and we carried on like I wasn't some sort of little criminal-shit. I got some mean looks, but I kind of just wanted to see if they were that stupid. I guess they weren't, but sometimes they are really stupid, so take advantage. They don't lose much, whatever owner of the business has insurance, and blah, blah, blah. Fuck it, I don't care, corporatism is fascism, and fuck those fascist fucks. They hoard the goods, the diluted goods of our planet, the overpriced crumbs, and they put a stranglehold on the world we live in. I feel no remorse what so ever. Does it get taken out of the person's pay when I steal shit? Maybe, I don't know, I don't really think about that. If it does, fuck them, they should get a real job anyway. What's a real job then? I don't know, not working at Walmart.

So I only steal from like heavily corporate businesses, I actually don't steal from the Salvation Army, but I do steal from Value Village, because they are very corporate now, and they don't seem to give a shit. I put on full clothing and walk out, it's fantastic.

If you're going to steal, don't get caught, don't even have it in your mind. And if you do get approached by someone, like security, or undercover ones questioning you, just drop your shit and run. Or say you were about to pay for it, but that never works. Either Way, life is expensive and my friend needs tampons, so I'm going to steal her some. I kind of just want to buy them, because I think it would be quite interesting to see the teller's response. "They're for my ass obviously" is what I would say.