No Thanks

Ever feel lonely while you're on your fucking phone? Well, Hand It, grab a hand, and never feel like you're alone ever again.

I'd rather hold on to a taco phone.

Buttholes

 

From Answerbag:

"How can I remove the brown stains on my anus so that I can engage in anal sex without feeling like I'm grossing my partner out?"

That's quite the question.

And here's not a bad response from someone random:

"Just enjoy yourself and he'll probably love it and not even see the browny bits. Otherwise do it by candlelight."

Demented. Life is so fucking disgusting. Brown stained anuses...yeah, on girls. Mine's actually pink. One of my ex girlfriends used to tell me that, because of course I asked her. So why should I ever settle for some brown stained anus girl right? Right.

This is a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately. I have OCD, so I dwell on certain things - ruins my life. And then I have to tell people about it I guess. Girls farting, girls shitting..I don't know, I'm not even turned on by girls anymore. I'm so grossed out by humans. I'm not trying to be self righteous, I gross myself out constantly. But I do clean myself constantly, so. One of my female friends really stinks and expires quite quickly. She also wants to fuck me and I don't really give a fuck.

I'm afraid to notice her darkened anus. Maybe I should not fuck her doggy style. No wonder sex is mostly done in the dark.

I guess this is just superficial and I need to get over it, but what the fuck?

More from Answerbag:

"The skin around my anus is stained brown, HELP!"

I don't know, never shit again? Wash your damn anus after you shit (like I do). And let's be real not too many people would be into anal bleaching. But it might make a nice engagment present.

Give Me A Break Please

From Hugo Boss, Boss?

Don't get the frames with the triangle. Fuck the triangle, let the corners penetrate your anus. Pass that triangle, through your intestines. Boss.

And stop being so fucking obvious about your association with this whole triangle movement of the Illumantus, or Freemasonic order of symbols, or what they've coined as such anyway.

I bet you're thinking, "lay off the triangle man, what has it ever done to you?" They need to lay off the triangle.