Excuse Me Cat Meme

This is a sad, piece of shit cat. I wish people would get nice, loving cats, not get attached to shitty ones. Put all the shitty and droll cats next to a dumpster, wait, scratch that (like a cat, shut up), they do all hang out next to a dumpster.

I heard today that the ‘Grumpy Cat’ meme is becoming a Talking Animal Comedy Movie. As you dry your eyes.

Really? A comedy? Really?

"The cat’s actual name is Tardar Sauce (“Tard” for short), and her owners were swift to monetize her surprising popularity, posting videos of her on Youtube, signing an advertising deal with Purina to have Grumpy Cat™ appear in Friskies adverts, and setting up an online shop where visitors can buy T-shirts, mugs, magnets, calendars.."

Oh my god, this makes me fucking sick, I'm literally about to vomit. It could have been these peanuts I just ate and this glass of Soy Milk, but Jesus Christ, this is just -- I have to say no to this! NO!

Money grubbing WHORES!

Yeah, Garfield the movie I heard did great, so good luck you assholes.

Hiamovi Tupak

Okay, so I found this fucking guy named Tupak who's like a spiritual healer or some shit. A New Age nut. God, like, seriously? Seriously? Tupak? And he's some bald, white guy? What the fuck?! I'm like totally laughing as I write this, ha-ha. I already know this guy isn't legitimate and he's a Con Artist from the very beginning. If you're reading this I'm sure you'd want to ask me how I cam across this guy, well, I just saw his dumb ad on the side of this dumb dating site I'm on. Yeah-yeah, don't judge me. BUT I had to explore it. I can't even explore it, because I don't really give a shit. I just want to expose this fucking guy.

He has this section on his site that is listed: "My Powers" - Fuck you! Fuck you Tupak! And stealing a dead, rappers name, shame on you asshole!

Here, read this thing:

As you can see, I’m not an ordinary person. (Yeah, you're bald.)

Ever since I realized I have the power to predict the future, I knew that anything was possible for me, and I wasn’t wrong. I can predict things that are about to happen, and I can feel the vibrations of winning numbers in games like roulette or the lottery. (And, blah, blah, blah, shut up.)

The blood of my Cheyenne ancestors runs through my veins. It has enabled me to predict my own future, and the future of the people around me. As a respected Shaman, I also have the power to transform woes into happiness, problems into solutions, and mysteries into revelations. (This has to be total shit.)

I accept the fact that I’m different. (You're bald and white.) My aim is to help people, to resolve difficult situations. I’ve had the gift of precognition since the age of 7. (Occult number, means whore.) I ‘see’ things other people can’t. This gift of mine enables me to transform future situations into opportunities for gain, depending on what I want, without anyone being the wiser. When I hear a name and a date-of-birth, I feel their vibrations, both bad and good, and I know exactly what someone has to do to avoid problems and achieve success.

What I can do for myself, and for others who know me, I could also do for you. The only limits are those you impose on yourself, either because you fear the unknown, or because you’re afraid of what people might say.

CON MAN.

Here's something he would say if you are being difficult: "Hey, so this isn't really working I'm feeling, because you're not playing ball with me, so yeah, the energy just isn't right. My spirit guide is telling me that you didn't bring that much money with you today. Yeah."

He has a Special Free Reading, oh wow. 100% FREE - YEAH RIGHT! CON MAN. Bald Con Man. Fruity fucking bald-headed fuck. God, I don't mean to hate you so much, but just get real dude. He's a shaman, bullshit! I guess it's not incredibly difficult to become a shaman, but him being a respected shaman, I don't buy it. This guy is a fruity pants, and a lying sack of shit. His site is a disgrace, and it's disgusting. "What more can I tell you?" No more please. His first name means "Great Chief" PUKE. As he uses his so-called powers for MONEY? What a fucking douchebag. He won all this money at a casino or something. I'm done with this guy now. DONE.

One last thing though, the Universal Luck Activator with Initiation Guide only 59 dollars, was 69$, nice number. And it's just some shitty PDF file. I totally can just download it for free. But why would I. Seriously, why would I? I almost vomited seeing his face, and the name Tupak beside it. I want to vomit all over these Internet con artists, trolls, I fucking hate them. The only thing wise to learn is how to con people, and I can understand that type of reasoning, but I wouldn't fuck people over like these parasites do. I think absolute hell would be a trip back in time to permanent Television set on Infomercials from the 90s. I just got a chill down my spine.

Tupak?

If you're going to fuck people, please use a different name. I'm giving this guy fucking advertising, Jesus, FUCK!

https://secure.tupakmedium.com/free_offer.html

"Let's Talk About Aliens" Photo Outtakes

Okay, ready?



Who is this Xenon? "I come from Nebula SIX! WE YELL ON THIS PLANET! I'M SORRY THERE'S LACK OF OXEGEN! MY BALLS HURT!"

Believe it or not this is Ashtar, that's his real name. Some time ago in the 70's someone claimed to have contact with this boring alien, and there's this whole story about it, and a new age religion formed because of it. But who cares about that?

What I want to know is, does he put on his own eyeliner, or does he make his humanoid-centipede assistant Scwog do it for him? Maybe aliens are asexual, who knows.

And who painted this terrible thing? Anyway, on to the next reject.



I'm kind of tired of this stupid grey alien. But apparently she's not. Stick a strap on uh, on him and he's ready to wobble around.

I have a feeling she likes older men, or maybe Ethiopian children.

Oh, I guess I'm done. Well, I couldn't find much you know, except for that Alien movie, with Sigourney Weaver. What kind of a name is Sigourney? Sigourney? What? Ugh, Sigourney, can you feel my dick inside of you? Sigourney..Sigourney..Pastromi.