Neurotic Club Goer

I wonder if girls get lint in their vaginas. Does it matter? I think about these things. I once found a really long hair from a girl's head in her vagina, and it went on my penis. I'm like, "yeah, let's just stop for a bit."

I'm constantly getting grossed out. Sex is better with the lights off. Sex is better when you're inebriated, but it's hard to understand some of these shit-faced vegetables who mumble, and drool that you see around, who pick up chicks at the end of a night in a club. From personal experience, my friend left with this guy, who was completely hammer-smashed, and he couldn't even hail a cab properly, how the fuck can he even manage sex? I was dumbfounded, I thought at the time that I was a lot more useful than this asshole -- for sex I mean -- why take him home? A total shit-bird. But I'm not bitter, just amazed by certain encounters with these mutants. Out of my way creatures, I'm getting a beer.

I played arcade Tetras at the club I was at, and I talked to a girl who really needs to find her friend. Yeah, sure, that line. I wasn't trying to court you, I don't even care, I considered you entertainment for the time being while I waited for my friend to get out of the bathroom. I felt like a puppy dog, fallowing my friend around. I danced with her to music I don't even like, and I put in some effort. Someone might as well just take a shit in the middle of the dance floor, and clear everyone out, and then I could leave here. It's like someone took a shit on the dance floor.

What's with DJs playing a good song that's sampled for five seconds, then it's mixed in with some random electro tripe? Is it to lure people in to dance? What a tease. Bastards. And beginning a song, then switching to a different song, mid song, that's A.D.D. my friend. I yelled out, "play the whole fucking song!" And I made waves, because some of the cretans there agreed with that.

Apart from my constant bitching, I somewhat enjoyed the Tetras. And my friend I was with bought me drinks, but she didn't take me home. But that's okay, because I didn't want to have sex with her.

My Friends In Shells

Chicken or the egg, what came first? God, who cares about that question?

So this morning I decided to boil an egg, and I heard this kind of hissing sound, almost like a miniature chirp. Well, I grab the egg, shake it around, and put it to my ear, no more ominous noises, but then I say, "Hello?" Just to make sure.

I really want to eat this boiled egg, but the thought of a partial chick inside makes it hard for me to pursue this. But ah, fuck it, I want a boiled egg, cooked, not runny. The least disgusting way to eat an egg in my opinion. Shit, I uh, I hope I don't find any premature wing in it, in this noisy little chicken fetus. Blood-spots are gross to find. Half a head would be kind of, yikes!

Alright, it looks like it turned out okay, and I was being paranoid. But at one point I was inside a little goopy egg, and so were you.

I don't even have any salt to put on this egg. But you don't need my life story.