Like I've said in my previous post, I've been distancing myself from society greatly. But I've been connecting myself with higher energies. That through meditation. I don't have the greatest attitude in the world, and you'd think a lot of what I have to say would be considered negative, but I find it a release from thinking about it. Thinking excessively is the biggest bastard. "Energy flows where attention goes". My friend got that tattooed on him recently. It's true in all cases. That energy is used, not for good though. Our society is structured to be one giant energy sucking force. If nothing matters, and things are illusory, and time is also an illusion, and you and I are just a drop in the ocean, then that's the state of mind that works to connect to something better. Lose everything, and give up, it's actually a really good idea. That way you can become who you were again, in the beginning, which is most important. The present, past, and future all coexist according to physics, that'S a scary thought when you regret a lot about your life though. I regret the shitty moments, and desperate moments, yet they helped me search for more significant answers, instead of fallowing the herd. But I've always been that way, it's in my being. I lot of my life moments were very unnecessary, but it doesn't have to be relevant anymore when you can reach a sense of calm and true being, which is just a sincere and amazing feeling. Break it down to the fact that everyone wants to be happy and have nice feelings to last. It's for the greater feelings, and everyone can have them, and we don't all have to be heroin addicts, and chase the dragon to reach them.
Most people are on stimulants, or drugs of some kind. Most things in our modern society can be deemed as some sort of an enhancer. Meditating doesn't give you a hangover, or any side effects. The majority of people think that meditation is hard, and you have to focus etc, not really. It's just listening, and opening up, and not thinking about things that don't matter. Which is a hard thing, but just taking a breath, and letting go, and focusing on a hum, or really nothing at all. Just not focusing, for me personally. Just being, being still, you can do it when you sleep, or watch a movie, or sit on the bus. It's really easy to do once you stop listening to what others opinions are about it. Relationships with people are very irritating, uh, people generally cause problems for your calm, and life really gets bothersome. However, these things aren't very important when we connect with who we really are which is all consciousness. Nothing really else unless you live by your appearance, and the surface-world.
People are like, yeah-yeah-yeah, I don't fucking buy it man. Searching outwards always, combing the mirror, I like that metaphor. You comb your head, not the mirror. So work is done on you, not out there. I could read every book on Earth and be dissatisfied. I could write a lot of books and be dissatisfied, I could have a million friends and be dissatisfied. None of that matters to me. It used to matter, when I was younger, and controlled though. I took a bite out of the poison apple which promised me fame, and fortune and all the other cliche crap. Boring. Why doesn't society find this shit boring yet? I'm screaming out in the wilderness here. Many famous, and successful people have drug problems too, and a sense of longing for more. Once you give up on all of that shit the longing for anything on this planet goes away. It's not a defeatis thing, and laying your head down low, and thinking you've failed. You've actually won, and your prize is peace of mind in knowing there's something more from connecting to a higher force. The word God is really vague to express what I have to say. Plus God is used for aliens, demons, etc so one can never be too sure. Just connect with your higher self, which is all consciousness, and it connects you with everything, and use your intuition to guide you properly.
I believe in infinite possibility, so I believe in a lot of things I can't prove. But if you try some hallucinogenic, or DMT, you will understand pretty clearly that there are other forces that you can't see all the time at work. And the evil ones are minor, but pretty engrossed here on Earth. That's because of people selling out so easily for material bullshit. I think if I'm guilty of something it's letting things get to me too much, sometimes I lay awake with a large amount of grief lying on me. Really dense thoughts on things I shouldn't be worrying about. It affect my sleeping, it affects everything for me, because I get caught up in the material world, and focus my energy, with my mind on it. And I wish I had a handful of drugs that would work, or a button to turn it all off. Sometimes I have the ability to cease my thoughts, other times I don't. It's a mixed bag half of the time. I realized that a lot of good people aren't even very good, and positive people can also be liars. It's a tragic fact about people. None of us are perfect, so if you at least are trying to be a good person that'S the biggest step. I usually think that at least people can say about me is at least he tried to be a good person, that'S more than most. Not that I seek to be better than everyone, just the being good is much better for all. And having your peace, and having incredible feelings is a must, if you've tried it.
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