Everything New Sucks So I'm Watching An Old Horror Movie

Old horror movies, ya know, they're the best. Late 70s and 80s ones, for sure. Ever since the teen horror movie Scream came out horror movies just went down the shitter hole. Stupid fucking teen movies of the 90s, God. Terrible.

Who gives a fuck about teens? Either they kill themselves, or get killed by a tractor or something. Like in The Children Of The Corn -- which I haven't actually ever seen, but maybe that happens? Either way, teens -- whatever.

This movie Warlock is just great, I'm not even half way through it yet and it's just a pure joy to watch. Here's a bit of the story, uh, this Warlock from the 16th century is caught by some, I don't know, Warlock hunter (because he was being naughty) and he escapes getting hanged and burned over a basket of living cats. -- I'm not even joking, that's what the priest said his punishment would be. I know, I had to rewind it to hear it again, just to make sure I heard it correctly. Fucking great, fucking great. It makes sense, because like cats don't have souls according to religious folk, I think. Or maybe the cats.....I don't know.

My favorite part is when the Warlock cuts the fat out of an unbaptized kid and makes flying potion out of it. Genius. How can you make up shit that good? The writer deserves some stupid award, or a hand-job from a hot girl at least for having such an incredible imagination.

I deserve an award, or a hand-job too. At very least. Okay, so I'm going to finish this movie now.