Anal Beads

When you're done with them..rinse them off.

Anal Beads -- I never really understood the point of them. I ignore them when I'm in the Porn Store, but could they have potential? Could they have value? Is it all for the sensation of shitting when you pull them out? Maybe I should read the back. I'm staring at a package of them as I'm writing this. It says here, "fun for the whole family!" Okay, it doesn't say that, but it's still kind of vague about their purpose. How many balls, or beads I should say can I stick in my ass? How many will fit inside? I'd imagine there's a world record for that, no? After four it might feel a bit packed. I should do an experiment, but I don't feel like using their bathroom to do it in. One time when I was younger I shoved a candle up my butthole while I was jerking off, and it broke in my ass. That was before I owned a dildo mind you.

I saw a video of a girl squeezing a cell phone out of her asshole, and I thought they should have at least called her phone, and if it was set on vibrate she could have full on masturbated while she was getting rectal stimulation. But if it had an annoying ring tone that kept repeating I'd understand why she'd shit it out.

So besides anuses (going off topic a bit here if I can) I'm glad that when you type in "penis" into Google search there's a likelihood that you'll find my blog. According to this girl from the Dominican Republic who did that. She was awfully charmed by my blog, and she wrote to me, and we are now in an online relationship. And when girls ask me out on dates now I tell them, "uh, no I'm in this serious relationship with this girl online right now. Yeah, sorry!" Nah, I'm lying, I think online relationships are stupid. However, she did say that she would fuck me, but I seriously hate traveling. I don't even know where the Dominican Republic is. The other day I called it, "the Banana Republic" so you see I'm pretty fucking clueless with geography. Seeming how I mix countries up with clothing stores. Is the Banana Republic like the Gap? Fuck, I don't even know that either, but I probably wouldn't shop there.