If You Want Chocolate Ruined For The Rest Of Your Life Stop Reading

This is incredibly disgusting, but I feel I should report on it. A very good friend of mine brought this to my attention, apparently there's rat shit in most chocolate, especially in more expensive chocolates. "Rat feces in chocolate you say?' Yeah, there's even rat hair in cereal. Now give me a second while I go and vomit. Ugh, horrible.

I was craving chocolate all week, now my stomach is upset. I already knew that milk has cow mucus in it, that is known, but rats shitting in the chocolate vats, like, can't they do something about that?

God, what else can I spoil for myself? What other crap is our food? Well, insects, and micro organisms, and harsh chemicals, but I can live with that. At least there's no shit in my beer, but there is formaldehyde.

I found this store recently that has a lot of cheap chocolate bars, Hershey and other names, and these chocolate pretzels I really like. I had a mad-lust craving for them, now I can do without them.

My sister always made fun of chocolate when we were younger, like she was eating shit. Now there Is shit in it. So the joke is on her for eating it? -- Not funny? I think I'm going to go vomit again.

Those Aren't Bubbles In Your Tea

I don't really understand the concept of Bubble Tea. I want some gushy balls in my drink, please? Yeah, how about some other gooey things too? Sounds incredible. I want slimy, gushy, creamy things going down my throat when I drink something.

Where I live is predominantly Asian and there are quite a few Bubble Tea cafes around. Looks like fun..I guess. The straws are gigantic, I guess that's fun. Now I want ball-drink, give me sugary, gelatinous balls in my cold tea beverage or I'm fucking leaving! Who the hell would say that anyway? This drink is far too sweet for me, and it's not my cup of tea (pun, pun) fuck off. It was a fad at one time, like Hello Kitty. It's cute, it's Asian! So, yeah, it's marketable..and cute. Duh. Eat it, I mean drink it, it's floaties that you enjoy. If that was their slogan it would draw me. But, you know, I'd still only drink it three times.

I remember an old girlfriend of mine puking after drinking it. It's just too Goddamn sugary. Hyper Asian girls is not what we need. Horny Asian girls maybe.