Your Personal Ad Here

I've had some encounters with potential girlfriends recently, but it's not going to happen, mainly because I don't care as much anymore, so I backed out of that whole thing. Ah, to be young again, with a lively, and active spirit. Primarily motivated by a stable sex life though.

Strangely enough, I look through the Craigslist personals, once every 3 months or so for a laugh, mainly at the women seeking men ads.

What a joke. If I could provide these girls with some counseling and advice, I would. But you know it would just be bitter. I'd like to be fair to myself and just say that I'm honest, but I am frequently upset by general people. That's okay, you know, I find the humor.

Here's an eye catcher, oh yeah. (And enjoy my little interjections.)

Flippety-Floppety - 28 (Up Down All Around)

I'm a big girl. Some would say fat or rubenesque, (?) others might say curvy, plump, roley poley, beefy, chunky, broad, bulging, bulky, butterball, fleshy, heavyset, hefty, husky, inflated, jelly-belly, large, meaty, oversize, plump, round,
(corpulent?) solid, stout, swollen, thickset or weighty. Whatever way you want to put it, I'm bigger than the weight books say I should be. (Not a house?) I've been big. I've been small. At the moment I'm big. (No shit!)

I don't make fun of heavy people usually, or whatever you want to call them. There's a myriad of words for you to choose from there. I figure why bother being that cruel, most North Americans are overweight. She was brave though, and elaborate, painfully so.

Here's a random dumb one.

Cold weather equals more cuddles - 22 (Your Arms)

I am looking for a long term relationship. Not a one night stand or FWB. (Fuck while bathing? Uh, fffarm equipment, something? Oh, friends with benefits, right.)

So I like going to the drive-in movie theatre, and just love to watch movies and hang out. (Sounds alright.)
That doesn't mean I would be against going out and doing things Haha. (Not funny.) I'm a fairly simple girl, I love cuddles and hugs and kisses (and teddy bears, and gummy bears, and gay bears, like those hairy, fat, gay men. Yeah, them.) I love to cook- I'm not the best cook, but I'm working on it. (Work me up a sandwich.) K so more about me, I'm told I'm cute Haha (?) ummm I tell really bad jokes and laugh my ass off at them. (You're kind of a mental case then, I like it.) I hate lies, especially the ones where there's no point of lying. (I was lying) I don't have any tattoos and.. (okay I'll just stop you there, I can't bare reading anymore.)

Mindnumbing, Jee-sus. But it gets worse.

Alright, this was a fucking disaster, and not very funny at all. Stay tuned for the next one.