Old Action Figure Memories

I stole this Cobra Commander back in oh, 92-93. I was proud of that. I stuck it to The Man. I stole him at K-Mart, of all places. He kind of looks like a techno-Clansman. And he kind of looks like he has a dick too. I always used to yank his legs out because they had this elastic strap thing in them, I think. Humph, he would ride my cat, because of his bendable legs. And his fate, probably shoved up a dog's ass, I don't know. I probably threw him out of my mom's car window, probably.

Cobra's a dick and he wants to take over the world, where have we heard this before? Practically every villain we know of. But he has the same exact ideas as the Illuminati do. In the cartoon he makes mind control slaves out of celebrities to mind control the masses. He even creates a signal in music and Television that makes people into brainwashed, mindless, consumer zombies.

Sounds like Cobra took over the world already, er, I mean the Illuminati.