Cat Shit

Man, the Internet is so fucking stupid now. People and their fucking cat joke photos, GOD. Cat doing something, in some crazy scenario. Cat _______ insert whatever here. Cat being a fucking cat, who cares? Jesus. Cat is oblivious to the Internet, YET cat is the star of the Internet, it seems. I have a cat, and sometimes we don't really get along. I can't help but think that she's cute sometimes, but then other times I throw her outside because she's annoying me. I have a patio, and I just open my screen door, I don't literally throw her out.

Cats - they are big on the Internet. And in people's homes.

I'm so sick of fucking cats though, I wish we had better animals. Better pets. Ones that weren't all head-jerky and annoying. Hey cat, pay attention, I need to put these drops on you, okay? No? You're moving too much, fuck. Nevermind, you are a useless animal. Cats are so fucking selfish, and vain. And when girls say they are like cats, which every fucking girl seems to say, oi, always, that's not a charming personality trait at all. It means, I'm a bitch, and it's all about ME. Yeah, okay, whatever. "I'm like a cat, heehee." Fuck off! If you are then leave me the fuck alone, you are annoying as hell then. The cutsieness is a ploy to get some Friskies from me, I'm not stupid. Some cats only love their owners when they feed them. When my cat is outside and wanting to come in (to eat) I'm like, go fucking find a mouse to eat or something, you have the skills. Yes, I let her in, but give me a fucking break, she's not that helpless.

The cat fucking owns you, not the other way around. Like women who give sex to their boyfriends because they buy them shit or whatever, they own the guy ACTUALLY. I'm so sick of cat photos, I'll repeat that, I'm so sick of cat photos, oh my god. People are so fucking nerdy, and pathetic in the future. And shitty, because nobody likes to talk on the telephone anymore, they just use their many other million devices. Fuck me. Yes, I am pissed off at cats, women, and society all at the same time. Mostly cats though, and these mindless Internet photo anecdotes. Yeah, most people have pets, and LOOK a cat driving a car! Isn't that awesome? No. It's doing something a human would do, OR being fucking humiliated, like wearing a hat or being shaved all fucked up or something. Being covered in dog feces. That I would LOVE to see. Not really. I'm sick of animal stuff. Be into bestiality already, or just fuck right off with your obsession with pets.

Cats...UGH. Their lives are fucking meaningless. Eat, shit, clean - repeat. Occasionally get raped in an alley. Reconciliation for the most plain, and boring life I can think of.

Plants are cooler, at least they're not bitchy and moody.

I doubt cats will evolve, maybe into snow cats or whatever, for the coming ice age. Other than that, they'll still eat, shit, and clean themselves.

My cat licks me as I pet her, to multitask I think. "Hey, while you're petting me, could you clean me too? At the same time please? Thanks. Thanks for being useful to me." - cat. Blah.