Everything New Sucks So I'm Watching An Old Horror Movie

Old horror movies, ya know, they're the best. Late 70s and 80s ones, for sure. Ever since the teen horror movie Scream came out horror movies just went down the shitter hole. Stupid fucking teen movies of the 90s, God. Terrible.

Who gives a fuck about teens? Either they kill themselves, or get killed by a tractor or something. Like in The Children Of The Corn -- which I haven't actually ever seen, but maybe that happens? Either way, teens -- whatever.

This movie Warlock is just great, I'm not even half way through it yet and it's just a pure joy to watch. Here's a bit of the story, uh, this Warlock from the 16th century is caught by some, I don't know, Warlock hunter (because he was being naughty) and he escapes getting hanged and burned over a basket of living cats. -- I'm not even joking, that's what the priest said his punishment would be. I know, I had to rewind it to hear it again, just to make sure I heard it correctly. Fucking great, fucking great. It makes sense, because like cats don't have souls according to religious folk, I think. Or maybe the cats.....I don't know.

My favorite part is when the Warlock cuts the fat out of an unbaptized kid and makes flying potion out of it. Genius. How can you make up shit that good? The writer deserves some stupid award, or a hand-job from a hot girl at least for having such an incredible imagination.

I deserve an award, or a hand-job too. At very least. Okay, so I'm going to finish this movie now.

I Wish This Was Today's Pop Idol

Want to take a ride on his Luck Dragon?

I remembering seeing this guy in this music video when I was a kid. I said to my mom, "is that a girl singing mom or a guy? Sounds like a giiirrl.."

"No son, it's a man and he's a gaylord."

Who gets to decide who becomes gaylord anyway? Liberachi? Yeah, he's dead now so, Simon Cowell? He's gay right? I fucked him last night, he was terrible. But he judged me the entire time.

A New Nightmare On Remakes

They have successfully erased the past again with another remake
of a horror film. The actor who played the original Freddy Krueger,
Robert Englund -- fantastic job he did, by calling those little teenage girls "BITCH!" every chance he got -- kudos kudos for that, well apparently he snubbed off the role to play Freddy again. Hey, he didn't want to be in the same fucking movie he was originally in, I don't blame him. Well, it's fucking retarded. All the gags will be the same. I saw the trailer, they use CGI to do most of the practical effects they did in the original film. They're just doing this for money, that's why Rob Zombie remade Halloween, which was absolute garbage.

The guy who played Rorschach from the incredible movie Watchmen, uh, Jackie Earle, (I Googled it) this short guy with a not so scary voice will be the replacement for what was originally an awesome fucking performance by the actor Robert Englund. That guy's awesome. He was also in V the mini series, which was based on reptilian aliens disguised as humanoids who want to take over the planet, but instead amass an entire stock-load of humans aboard their ship to take back home to their planet and munch on later. Good series. The main alien commander chick was really hot, even though she was a cold blooded reptilian. That doesn't sound that much different from human girls. But that would be overly cliched of me for saying, but also completely true.

Robert Englund R.I.P as the true Freddy Krueger.

Fuck all of you other people! Freddy VS Wolverine, is that in-store next? They're also remaking Hellrasier, and probably replacing Doug Bradely, I again Googled that, who played the original Pinhead.
FUCK YOU!