IJunk

What the hell is this? It's so bizzare. Is this in a Greek restroom? Maybe from a gay bar? You can fuck his porcelain dick after you piss in his stomach, I guess. I don't know why, but I'd probably aim for his mouth. Shameless.

This next one is 3d pornography.



I actually have a pair of 3d glasses, it doesn't really do much for me though. A 3d dick in my face is kind of intrusive, but it wouldn't phase me.

So I was searching for girls with exotic fruit shoved up their holes, and I found this instead. "Swirlie girls"



Apparently these chicks get fucked, then get their heads dunked and flushed into toilets. Oh great, that's what sex was missing. I've always thought that. No, actually I never would think that. Gross. Also, check out "Water Bondage" and "Feed Her Fuck Her" -- pretty self explanatory.

When I Jerk-Off I Think Of..You?

Today while I was masturbating I found it difficult to do, because I'm pretty hungover. A friend of mine, she says that she has trouble getting a good rhythm going, and it's hard for her to orgasm when she's hungover. Yeah, it takes a lot out of me to get to that special, warm, and fuzzy place. Cloud 9, which is actually just a large wad of semen, maybe.

It's so much better if you fill your ass with some lubricant, and play around with your butt-hole before you ejaculate. I don't know, some times I masturbate after having sex, because only I really know how to properly touch myself. That's why God gave us hands. My mom actually told me that, gross. What else are they used for? Everything? Nah, just masturbation. When I masturbated today I noticed that one of my balls was pushed up, and I was wondering why it felt a bit different, but good too. Probably better. Is this a secret I've found? My friend told me once to twist my sack, and it would feel better. It didn't. But this ball lodging thing seemed promising.

I'm just reminded of my nuts all fancy free being mashed into a girl's body while my cock is inside of her. Another friend of mine says she likes the feeling of when testicals are slapping all around her. Cool, I guess. If you fucked a girl upside down, and had your balls rest on their hood, it could have clit stimulation, I don't know. I haven't tried it. Or maybe I have, I don't fucking remember. I just use my hand, my magic touch. Mom says.

You know I try not to think of mom usually, but thinking about not thinking about it usually makes her pop into my head. Pop my head? What? -- Anyway -- sometimes it's hard to imagine something that turns me on, but the typical stuff. It's really quite fucking boring, and I yawn, and sometimes fall asleep instead of finishing. I'll do it later, just like my laundry, or taking out my garbage. Ugh, when did it become a chore? Stupid dick, I'm tired of you. I'd like to not care. I hate being programmed to want to fuck. I feel I have no choice, because you know that I'll have a wet dream eventually. I'm sure celibate people have wet dreams, I think it still counts as sex. Define reality first, then tell me I'm not actually having sex in my dreams. I was getting a blow job last night in my dream, but it was about as eventful as in real life. So what.

Outstaged By A Cock

This is a stupid clip of what is supposed to be a guy's penis sticking out in a triumphant scene in the movie Teen Wolf. Shit, I loved the movie Teen Wolf when I was a kid, it kicked ass! Michael J. Fox was my hero. I even looked like Michael J. Fox when I was younger, but I've grown since then, and now I look nothing like him. Anyway, I think the extra guy was getting a BJ offscreen and he just finished, and he forgot to pull his zipper up. I think I see a bit of his dick, but mainly his bunched up 80's jocky underwear. Eitherway, it's still pretty obvious, and I'm sure he still got payed for his work that day.

Way to go buddy. There's nothing better than ruining a scene in a Hollywood movie.

Gay-Mails

...

Hello, I think you're so fine. My name is John Paul and I like your ass, your legs, and your eyes.

JP


Hi, my name is Christoff and I can't help thinking about your ass.

Please write to me.

P.S. I have toys.

Christoff


You are so beautiful, my name is Kyle, I'm 17, gay and horny.

K.


Good day, this is actor Sean Penn. Stop emailing me! I'm not gay, but I played a gay politician in the movie Milk. That person is dead! I'm alive, and not gay.

Please stop bothering me.

Sean Penn


You know what dude, fuck off!

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